TO THE MOTHER WHO RAISED ME

To the Mother who raised me, who taught me love, respect, and dignity; and to all the mothers and potential mothers out there, HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY.

Growing up, I could say anything - abusive or curse words - when in conflict with other kids in school, on the playground, or on the streets. But "your mama" was a no-go area. No matter how tough the disagreement might be, "your mama" or any curse word directed at "your mama" was forbidden - completely out of the question.

I adopted that mantra, not because anyone taught me the morality of such abstinence. I just didn't want to subject my Mama to disrepute or create an opportunity for other kids to curse her or be abusive of her in retaliation for my imprudence.

Going by her public records or reputation in the community, she was more than a woman. Indisputably infallible and proudly admired by the young and old. And it was always about "what is Irhierhe's opinion" whenever there was a dispute in the community among the women. And that places me in an uncomfortable position. You can't afford to be her son and be irresponsible.

In observance of her grace, unblemished reputation, and queenship personality, I imbibed discipline, leadership virtues, and genuine empathy. And for her, all eyes were on me. Not in the negative sense, but to be a role model.

Thank God, it comes with a prize - protected and untouchable, at home and on the road. And as she would always say, don't be afraid to speak your mind, and stand by what you know is right. You are Ehimhantioria-aiyo. Go in peace, God is with you. And in response to that, I would always say, ise, Nene in the Esan dialect.

She made me change schools when I was in elementary school so that I could learn in an environment where the English language is the means of communication. Also, she gave me the registration fee for the Common Entrance Examination when the registration was about six months ahead. If she hadn't taken either decision, I don't where I would be today. She wasn't educated, but she knew when to transfer her infant son from one elementary school to another so that he could take advantage of the English language, which was the means of communication in the new school. How was she able to execute the transfer? Simple.

She was visiting her Big Sister, Ose, at Olenokhua Eguare Ewohimi, when she saw some kids playing on the ground and communicating in the English language. She asked if someone was visiting from a big city like Warri, Benin City, or Lagos, with his kids. They told her no. Then whose kids are these speaking  English? They told her they were neighbours' kids in the next compounds. Where did they learn to speak English, she asked in amazement. Her nephew told her that they communicate in English in school. Hearing that, she made up her mind that her son was going to change schools at the end of the year. 

The school is Saint Mathias Catholic School at Eguare Ewohimi, which is directly opposite Chief Ereomhan's house, her big sister's husband. That was actually the same house that she grew up in before she got married. But at that time in the 30s or 40s, the Catholic school was still a local school and Eguare was not cosmopolitan a city the way it was at the time of the happening of this story.  Now there is Pilgrim Baptist Grammar School, the Oil Palm Company, the Water Board, the Yoruba Quarter, and the Eastern Ishan District Council, just to name a few. 

The majority of the workers in the listed organization have children and all of them attend Saint Mathias Elementary School. So, by default, every child in that school must learn to speak English. In fact, about 90 of the Teachers in the school were non-natives. And that was how the children in the surroundings adopted the English language as their mode of communication, even when they were not in school.  

Her word was her bond and her helpers unfailingly exhibited a sense of privilege or honour to earn her request for a favour. She was that good and amiable and many people wanted to identify with her.

I knew she was intelligent, but I didn't know how politically savvy or knowledgeable she was on Nigerian leadership and political system until my Government classes in Form Three in Grammar School. All the stories of NCNC, Action Group, NPC, Siaka Momodu, Okotieboh, Osadebey, Ahmadu Bello, Akintola, Anthony Enahoro, Azikiwe, and of course, her favourite, Papa Obafemie Awolowo that she told me while I was in elementary school, were all in the recommended Government Textbook, written by one Mr Ojo.

To her, Papa Awo was next to God. I was not surprised when she came home in 1979 to tell us that Mrs. Ughehi (Madam VIP) Atalakpa, the UPN Women leader, offered her the position of Women Leader of Okaigbe-Ewohimi.

Thanks to her, I completed the entire WAEC syllabus in Government in Form Four. When I got to Form Five, I bought A-Level Textbooks for Government. While all my classmates who registered for Government like me were trying to make meaning out of the Rule of Law, I was already deep into Montesquieu's theory of Separation of Powers and Checks and Balances, as well as Devolution of Powers and Delegated Legislations.

So, scoring A1 in Government in the West Africa School Certificate (WASC) examination by the West African Examination Council (WAEC) was not unexpected. All thanks to my Mama who gave me an edge ahead of the class. She was simply a one-of-a-kind Mama. May her soul continue to rest in peace. Amen.