Rihanna on Chris Brown: "He needed help"

Rihanna on Chris Brown: "He needed help"

Family Matters:

I have no doubt in my mind that Rihanna is still very much in love with Chris Brown. But the media and the respected Oprah of this World will not be fair to her if she decides to go back to the alms of the man she truly loves and who loves her back. Who can forget P Diddy and Jennifer Lopez or Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush? These Guys and Gals are made for each other, but the media and the larger society are always the problems - we dwell on what is wrong about them individually and what is wrong with them as a union. Ask Jay Leno, I'm very sure he would tell you that I am right - that indeed, they are better off together as one professionally and emotionally.

Hey, Mr. Brown, go back to the alms of the one you love and love you back, even if it means on your bended-knee.  She needs you.

Don't get me wrong; I do not subscribe to women-bashing and do not condone it. That was the first lesson my Mother taught me when I was growing up - never raise your hands on any woman. You must love and treasure her – if that means going for the most beautiful and the most responsible girl in town or in your class, go for it. I have never deviated from those words of wisdom.

Once, just out of Grammar School, I did something stupid to my first real girlfriend following the stupid advice of a co-worker. For the stupid mistake, I got a dirty slap across the face from my very gorgeous and very prideful girlfriend. I blanked out. When I recovered, I went straight to the bathroom and took a cold bath.  Confused and not knowing what to do next, she took her bag and walked out of my apartment.  A week later, she sent my closest friend to apologize and intercede on her behalf, without actually telling the guy what she did or what happened in my house. I did not budge. Nevertheless, her not revealing the details of the conflict between us to my friend saved the relationship.

When we started, I made her understand that I will love her, protect her, and respect her. And, if we have any disagreement, we must endeavor to resolve it amicably between us, without getting a third party into the issue. And that was lesson number two from my Mother, which I applied successfully throughout my dating years.

About two weeks later, and not hearing from me, she came to my house herself. When she walked in, she knelt down and asked me to slap her back. I did not - to me, she is a treasure to love, cherish and protect. I do not want any dent on her smooth face. We went out and have a good time. Neither the two of us brought up the issue again until we went our separate ways years later - her biological clock was ticking and I was determined to get my bachelor's degree before any other thing. So, marriage was out of the picture. But we remained the best of friends for a good period after the amicable separation. That was some decades ago.

A few years back (here in the US), when my "special import" was becoming too Americanized negatively and becoming unduly aggressive - apparently acting on a false belief about the applicable laws - I went straight to the appropriate quarter to avert a Chris Brown occurrence/encounter.  In essence, I am glad that I did. And as the Big Boss would remind me at the Big House, the system is designed to protect his and her. The visit was simply a preemptive move because I love my person. If I am right and I am under attack, I don't retreat - I will fight back.

When Rihanna told Oprah that Chris Brown needed help, she was talking about upbringing and family support.

Finally, Mr. Brown, remember, there is nothing as enlivening and emotionally uplifting as 'loving somebody when somebody loves you back'. She is your Angel - a real Moma and a true Sista needing you to do the right thing - be man enough to make a commitment to make things right the second time around. Good luck, Broda. Please don't blow it. 

I am dedicating “Second Time Around' by the Shalamar to the two of you because I really love you guys and I pray that you make a good reunion and succeed in life. Good luck. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz4YQZ01Q_A

By the way, lesson #3 from my Mom: to strengthen intimacy with you and her, never share information about the sexual relationship between the two of you with your friends.